The Three Laughs of the Obnoxious Silkpant
by lazychu
Summary: Do you ever wonder how the happy-go-lucky Jiang Chen die? This is a story of an obnoxious silkpant and how a fart can kill you. My prologue for the "Sovereign of the Three Realms" by Li Tian.


**Disclaimer: Li Tian owned the world of the Sovereign of the Three Realms.**

* * *

The Rites of Heavenly Worship is an important ceremony for the Imperial Clan. It will be held today that's why all the Dukes came into the capital earlier. There is also the incoming Hidden Dragon Trials, the real reason why the Imperial City was beaming in energy.

But instead of looking forward to the Rites of Heavenly Worship that will be held later this day, Jiang Chen was thinking of other things.

"I hope I can finally borrow Fatty's Carnal Prayer Mat today." Thought Jiang Chen while preparing to head out for breakfast. "I already spent lots of money for him, even more expensive than the price of that blasted thing. Why was it a limited edition?"

Jiang Chen frowned as he was mulling on his unluckiness of being unable to buy that limited special edition. He woke up late that day because they were out in some bar down town with his fellow dukelings the night before. He got an over-blown headache when he woke up. Because of that, he was left out and failed to buy that special edition. He tried to buy that same edition from others but they won't sell. Fatty was a special case. If Fatty made a goal, he will stick with his goal. Jiang Chen only found out later that Fatty slept at the front of the store.

"Chen'er, breakfast is ready!"

That was his father, his loving and ever supportive father, Jiang Feng. His father was the Duke of Jiang Han, a middle-sized dukedom of the Eastern Kingdom.

"Father, don't wait for me. I will be meeting with Brother Fatty, Brother Hubing and Brother Yang Zong."

Jiang Feng frowned. He didn't like how Jiang Chen prioritized his friends before him.

"I hope you will not be late in the Rites of Heavenly Worship." Jiang Feng sighed. "Were will you be meeting? I hope you won't spend too much. That money I gave you last week was the last of it."

Jiang Chen stopped in his tracks.

"But father!" Jiang Chen cried. "Training is very harsh to my delicate body that's why I need to have some good times."

Jiang Feng sighed again. If sighing will make you filthy rich, Jiang Feng will be richer than Eastern Lu, the King.

"Alright, you can go now." Seeing how Jiang Chen didn't move and with pleading adorable eyes, Jiang Feng sighed again. "I'll think about an additional allowance after the Rites of Heavenly Worship."

Jiang Chen laughed and darted up like an arrow after hearing that. His father was left shaking his head.

* * *

"So this would be the Autumn Crane? This might be it as far as I can remember, it does look familiar." Jiang Chen thought. He was actually surprised that he didn't lose his way. This was not his first time but he always had his retainers accompanying him or those fellow dukelings. He never paid attention to the directions when he travel, he always have others to point him to the right direction. Plus the topic of their talk was always more important than the street names.

Without further ado, Jiang Chen stepped inside the building. If he was wrong then he can always ask people to point him to the right direction. Getting lost is not a grave problem for him. He waited by the entrance until a person who works for the Autumn Crane came.

"Thanks the heavens, someone finally came. I'm looking for the brother Xuan, Yubing and Yang Zong. Lead me to them." Jiang Chen uttered, not giving the person a chance to talk.

The worker hesitated for a while until Jiang Chen glared at him.

"This is the Autumn Crane right?" The worker nodded and Jiang Chen frown. "Do you want a bad review for this average inn?" He asked haughtily.

The worker gasped, an understanding flashed in his eyes.

"Sorry milord, please follow me."

Jiang Chen followed the worker while rambling in his heart. He'd been here many times so, why did the worker almost hesitated to follow his commands? Are they not giving him face at all?

"There you are Brother Chen! I thought you'll never come!"

A roaring voice suddenly invaded Jiang Chen's ears. It left his ears ringing for a while.

"So it's really you brother Xuan. No one has a voice louder than you!" Jiang Chen muttered as he settled himself with them.

"Among the young generation, I have the biggest body so it is completely natural if I got the loudest voice too." Instead of being insulted, Fatty Xuan even roared with pride.

Everyone laughed after hearing Fatty Xuan, including Jiang Chen.

As Jiang Chen was comfortably seated, the worker who welcomed him handed him a glass of wine. Jiang Chen didn't think it weird and accepted it. He didn't even bother to say anything to the worker and ignored him completely.

"That was such a good speech brother Xuan. Of course no one here can compete with your huge body and the loudness of your voice. So let us toast to brother Xuan!" Jiang Chen said while raising his glass of wine then drink it all in one gulp.

* * *

Footsteps echoed on the stone floor as a person was seen walking stealthily. The person continued until it approached a door. Three knocks was heard followed by a creaking sound. The door was then shut off again.

"Master, the young heir of Jiang Han province is here. Our information was right; he's here with his friends having breakfast."

Nothing can be heard for a while in the dark rrom, but the environment felt a little tense.

"How about the powder I gave you?"

A smirk etched on the other's person face. When you look at him closely, you will remember him as the worker who ushered Jiang Chen in.

"The deed is done Master, perfectly done. Master forgot to tell this humble servant that the young fellow was so dumb. He even mistook me as a server of the inn. Slipping the powder was an easy feat."

The "Master" stood and appeared to go out.

"Since the deed is done, I will be going now. The Rites of Heavenly Worship is about to start, I must not be late. We'll meet again at the Duke's place."

The "master" left and the servant was left alone in the darkened room, dreaming.

"Soon I will be like you Master and will enter the realm of the True Qi Masters. I will also have a good standing, and maybe even enter as one of Long Juxue personal guards. Just being near her is pure bliss."

* * *

The Rites of Heavenly Worship was about to start and Jiang Chen was feeling weird. It felt like a circus was currently held in his stomach.

GONG!

The ringing of the gongs indicated the start of the ceremony. The people all knelt and the ceremonial priest started to muttered incantations.

"I wish those incantations will ward off this feeling in my stomach too." Jiang Chen thought as he gritted his teeth. The pain was increasing and he tried to revolve his qi to lessen it. It wasn't successful, it only intensified it.

GONG!

With every gong, the pain increased and Jiang Chen was muttering his own incantations. He only wished to persevere until the end of the ceremony.

GONG!

"Darn that stupid gong! Darn this stupid ceremony!" Jiang Chen swore in his head. His face was flushed and sweats were running down his forehead. "Just a little more, I can do this." He kept repeating that like a mantra until he felt a sudden lurched in his stomach...

GONG!

Jiang Chen fell on the floor, arms clutching his stomach. His face was as red as an apple and his sweats were dropping like rain. A foul stench rose from him and everyone covered their noses.

A muffled laugh came out Jiang Chen's mouth as he got up and tried to kneel properly.

Everyone was shocked and the ceremonial priest swore.

"Who the hell has the audacity to fart during this important ceremony?" A cold voice in-laced with a powerful qi sounded.


End file.
